Did You Know: The Clarkson Hockey program has amassed 10,001 goals since the 1920-21 season?

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Top Ten Reasons....

For Clarkson not winning their NCAA game this weekend:

10. Flaky internet connection at Blue Cross Arena severs the link between George Roll's mind, the Roundtable and USCHO message boards.

9. Mike Sullivan gassed after Coach Roll enters him in Toastmaster competition scheduled for immediately after the game.

8. Pre-game lunch at Nick Tahou's inadvertently causes Clarkson to go into a dump and chase offense when the players say "Safe!" on the ice approximately 170 times during the game.

7. Under intense pressure, David Leggio's post-season mustache cracks after a pre-game locker room visit from Ian Manzano's 98-99 hair.

6. Didn't call the RPI Pep Band for backup.

5. Not anticipating a forty game season, Goldie Knight runs out of the letters, K, G and H forcing her to create signs that say "WE LOVE OUR NITS." Coincidentally, the Northwestern Saskatchewan Nits won their first ever AAAA Provincial Super Midget Tournament in over fifty years behind huge international fan support.

4. After heated debate and visiting GameFaqs.com between periods, Will Ortiz and Kevin Jarman realize that you can't just rush up the ice on the right side, deke the goalie and score every time.

3. Clarkson and St. Lawrence let guard down after ECAC Commissioner Steve Hagwell mentions that ECACH teams have never lost in the NCAA tournament.

2. Captain Nick Dodge's 2nd period "Captain's only" meeting was mistook by the team who brought in Captain James T. Kirk, and Captain Jean-Luc Picard in an effort to solve the UMass neutral zone trap.

1. In a bizarre sign of solidarity, the team decides to score as many points as men's football team.


Anonymous FireKnight said...

Ron, this is just hilarious. I love it.

1:14 AM


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